Some opening perspective

I had been debating whether to open with this, or do it after the story of the attempted climb, which is when I got my dose of perspective. For a number of reasons, I decided I'm going to lead with it.

This is what I attempted, along with the rest of my immediate family, to accomplish:

As daunting as Half Dome itself looks in the picture I posted a few blogs ago, if you could walk right up to the base of that rock and then go up it, it wouldn't really be that daunting of a task. As you can see, that's really not an option. There are, I understand some other ways to hike to it that might not be quite as daunting, but this is what people are talking about when they talk about the hike to Half Dome.

You start somewhere towards the bottom right of the picture, probably not even on it, below the lower falls. You then hike out along the water at a steady, managable climb. Eventually, however, that changes and you start climbing up right along the right side of the falls, getting a fair share of mist, on very steep rock steps that are quite slipperly. Eventually, you get up the top of the first set of falls (Vernal Falls), at which point you cross over to the left side of the water. You then hike up a path, less steep than those start, but still plenty steep, doing plenty of switching back, that takes you to the top of the second set of falls. (Nevada Falls)

After you get past the Nevada Falls, the trail flattens out for a mile (and even descends, which trust me, you HATE on a climb like this since you know you're eventually heading back up) or so as you hike along the river and back behind the smaller peak you see on the right side of the picture. This part of the hike is done in the shadow of the dome itself, and you can see people making the final ascent, if there are any at that time, which there typically will be anytime from the later part of the morning on. After that nice little reprieve, you cut left back up into the forest, climbing back around behind Half Dome itself. Eventually you come out to more of a plateau, probably connected to some of the rock you can see there behind Half Dome, where you're standing, basically looking back at the camera, looking at the "lower" dome and the final ascent to the top. You hike through some more woods, and then up a very steep incline via stone steps and all kinds of switch packs, to the top of the lower dome, known "affectionately" as Heartbreak Hill. If you get to that point, the last 400 feet or so is at a 45 (Tim says greater) straight up the rock face, with the aid of cables to hold on each side to keep your balance.

The only modification on the trip back down is that at the top of Nevada Falls, you cross over the falls and take a longer, flater, less scenic hike back out of the mountains. This is longer, but much easier on the body, and much less dangerous than going down those steep, wet stairs I referred to beside Vernal Falls.

The trailhead is at about 4000 feet above sea level, and if you complete the entire hike, you'll walk about 17 miles round trip, and ascend 4800 feet before coming back down. My trip ended, along with my mom, dad, and uncle, on the plateau I spoke of before the final push to the lower dome. Megan made it to the top of Heartbreak Hill (pictures to come) before the heights got to her, and Tim made it to the top. Additionally, in our case, we couldn't park in the lot closest to the trail head, so we wound up having to walking better than 1/2 of a mile from our car to the trailhead in full gear.

This picture was taken the day after the hike at a scenic view place called Glacier Point. As you'll see as I get to the end of my story, I wasn't feeling particularly down on myself for not making it to the top anyhow, but as I saw this view, any lingering feelings of angst about what I hadn't done were totally washed away as I realized what I HAD done.

So, there's the full extent of the challenge - feel free to refer back for context as I elaborate.

The build-up

Okay, sorry for the delay here. As I mentioned in Monday's post, I was not feeling very well. Apparently I picked up a pretty nasty head cold on the flight home that had really laid me out by Tuesday night. It wasn't until Thursday that I was really starting to feel better, and then Friday, I pretty much just slept as my body was begging me for recovery time. Yesterday I had a family wedding, and so here we are.

So, anyhow, I met my Mom and Dad in Seattle and we spent two very enjoyable, though not very restful, days in the city with my cousin who is attending Seattle Pacific University. We did many of the standard tourist things, such as visiting the Space Needle and Pike Street Market. All of these things involved much walking (finding parking is a significant issue in Seattle, at least where we were), which afforded me a good chance to better break in my hiking boots. It also tired me out really good, particularly the first day. As you may have guessed already, relaxation was not really the dominant theme of this particular vacation. I also picked up a minor foot injury that I was concerned might be an issue on the hike, but really wasn't.

So, on Sunday evening we hopped on a plane and flew to Northern California, where we were met by my aunt, uncle, and grandpa at the airport and then rode back to my uncle's to spend the night. Monday was actually a pretty laid back day, as we did some various visiting, picked up some supplies and packed up for our adventure. On Tuesday, we drove up to Yosemite, had a picnic in the park, and then headed over to our home away from home, away from home for the next couple days.

Having settled in, Mom, Dad, Megan, Tim, and I set out to do some "warm-up" hiking to see some of the easier to get to sights of Yosemite. Our first hike was maybe a mile and a half or so round trip (I suck at estimating distances, so take that for what it's worth) to the base of Yosemite Falls:
Next up was an even shorter hike (under 1/2 mile round trip) to the Bridalveil Falls.

To be completely honest, that would have been enough hiking for the trip for me. However, that was obviously not the plan, and we headed back to the house for dinner and final preparations. The plan was to be on the trail by 5:30 am, which would require leaving the house by 5, and getting up no later than 4:30. So, as I got into bed around 10:30, I was already wondering if 6 hours of sleep would be enough to take on this crazy task I was up against. As it turns out, that should have been the least of my concerns. We were staying at about 6000 feet above sea leval, and the altitude, probably coupled with the anticipation of what was to come in the morning, led to an almost sleepless night. I think I might have fallen asleep for about 30 minutes at one point, but I'm not sure, and that was absolutely the most I got. I was not the only one in the house to report the same kind of night.
So, whatever uncertainties I had had about this climb (and whether I even wanted to do it) were magnified as we rounded up everything in the van and drove down to the trailhead.

Some context

So, I get back from vacation, all rested and stuff, with extra time due to a lack of TV and shaky internet, and lots to blog about, and what happens? A day later, I feel like crap, either due to an oncoming cold or some really late allergies. Oh, well, I shall try to press on!

I will get to the climb itself in due time, however, in order for some of it to make sense, you need context. The context comes in the story of, of all things, my plane trip to the West Coast. On the way out, I flew from Harrisburg to Detroit, on my way to Seattle. One of the reasons I haven't had nearly as much to blog about recently is because my reading has tailed way off. That means there's a number of books out there that I've either been interested in or had recommended to me that I haven't read yet. One of these was The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. Since the cover informs me there were at least 5 million copies of the book printed before mine, I'm going to assume that a large percentage of people who might read this have read the book. I had not, though I had heard of it many times, particularly from several folks whose opinions I value, and it was definitely on my radar.

Prior to this trip, I did not own the book. And I had brought plenty of other reading material with me for the plane trip, especially when you consider that I don't really usually read on planes anyhow. But anyhow, when I got to the Detroit airport, I had a long walk ahead of me. As I headed down to my gate, I saw a Borders coming up in front of me. Not particularly sure why, but I found myself wondering if they had The Shack in this little airport store, thinking that after I had found my gate and had something to eat, I’d come back and look. I didn’t have to “look”, because as I walked by the store and glanced into the store, the book was out on the front display, prominently featured. Now, I’ll gladly admit that could have been coincidental – the book is a bestseller after all. However, I will note at this point that I passed a number of airport bookstores on the way back and peeked in out of curiosity, and didn’t see any with this particular book at the front of the store. Take that for what it’s worth, it’s only mildly relevant to what came next.

Anyhow, coincidence or tap on the shoulder from God, I decided I’d go back and get the book after I’d indulged in some dinner at the airport Taco Bell. And that is what I did. The end result was that my flight from Detroit to Seattle was basically a 5 hour appointment with God. It’s funny, with my slowed pace of reading, my volume of books read is way down, but the few books I have read have been incredible, and it was clear to me that I had read them when I was supposed to read them and not a moment before. This was especially true in this case. Had I read the book shortly after the first time it was recommended to me (probably about a year and a half ago at this point), I’m sure I would have enjoyed it and seen it as an excellent book. In this moment, God was using it to speak to right where I was at, confirming a number of things I’d already sensed Him saying to me over the last several weeks, and also taking me further and making them more personal.

I wrote down a good bit about that experience and the book the next morning, and I’ll likely share some more of that later on, but at this point, to make a long story slightly shorter, I’ll just share the two most relevant pieces I came away from that plane fight with. First of all, God was asking me if I really trusted Him, if I trusted His goodness and His design for my life. The second thing I came away with was that I had another appointment with Him ahead of me on that trip, and it would be somewhere on the trail to Half Dome. Color me intrigued…

More to come, now I must go to bed.

The Climb

Last night I returned from an 8 day vacation to the West Coast. Last Friday night, I flew out to Seattle, where I met up with my parents and spent Saturday and most of Sunday with my cousin who is in college at Seattle Pacific and staying in the area over the summer. After that, we hopped on a plane together and flew to northern California to meet up with my sister, brother-in-law, and grandfather to spend the week with my aunt and uncle and their clan (two grown children, both married, with 9 kids between them). The centerpiece event of the trip was a family (mother, father, sister, brother-in-law, uncle, me) expedition to climb this:


For those who may not recognize this by sight, this is Half Dome in Yosemite National Park. And to be more accurate, the expedition was to hike around behind this big rock and then up the backside of it. (No, I've not gone completely insane and taken up free rock-climbing) Once I lay hold of some of the trip pictures (my mother and brother-in-law are both shutterbugs, so while I had my camera with me, it seemed excessive to use it), I'll be able to give you a better sense of what we actually set out to do, but for now, you get this stock photo of the Dome I found on the internet. And no, there wasn't any snow to be found on it last Wednesday, though it is surrounded by a number of higher peaks that remain snowcapped.

I'll go ahead and end the suspense for you now by telling you that I did not make it to the top on this particular journey. Of our party, only my brother-in-law actually did, which was fitting since he was the one who wanted to do this in the first place. However, that does not mean there wasn't a great adventure had, and much to be learned, all within the context of a wonderful and much needed vacation. Over the next several days, I intend to chronicle many of the raw details of the trip and the climb, as well as my reflections. So, if you care, stay tuned :-) After a long dry spell, I've finally got some solid material to work with for a while. I also have extra time on my hands, as my satellite TV receiver died right before the vacation, and I'll likely not get the replacement until later this week. Of course, my internet connection has also gone kind of flaky (I'm currently in the longest stable window I've had with it since I got back, which is why I'm finishing this now rather than risk not being able to do it tomorrow) and may not be fully fixed until mid-week either, but I'll do my best!

When was the last time you glowed?

That question was posed to me by my mentor as we met a few weeks ago. Well, to be fully accurate, he was telling me about how he posed the question to someone else, but that’s really not the point.

The question draws back to the story of Moses and the Israelites in the desert. In those days, Moses would go off to the mountain to meet with God, in a manner that I don’t know to have been duplicated anywhere else in Scripture. When he returned to the camp, God’s glory reflected off him to such a degree that we’re told he quite literally glowed, to the point where he had to wear a veil, because the people became afraid of him.

The implication of the question is clear – the presence of God is transformational. It makes a difference – one that people can see. So when was the last time you, or when was the last time I, were so impacted by experiencing God’s presence that people noticed?

Since achieving an actual physical glow seems to be reserved for a very select few (Moses is the only one in Scripture I can think off the top of my head), perhaps we might do well to look at a Biblical example that has more practical application – something we could realistically expect to happen. Fast forward a few thousand years from Moses to the earliest days of the church. Peter and John were called before the Sanhedrin and required to defend themselves for, of all things, performing a miraculous healing. After they had spoken, we’re told of the Sanhedrin’s reaction: “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” Peter and John’s faces might not have literally been lit up like Moses’, but it’s clear – they glowed. There was something about them in that place was so evidently different, so beyond what would have been expected from a couple of former fisherman, that even their accusers took note of the effect Jesus’ presence had had on them.

You know what I’m talking about here, because I’m sure you’ve seen it before. New believers glow – especially those who have come to know Christ out tragic or ugly circumstances. That initial influence of the presence of God in someone’s life makes such a profound difference, someone would have to be blind not to see it, even if they couldn’t necessarily figure out what the change was at a glance. If you’re like me, you’ve probably been jealous of that “new believer glow” at times, and of the genuine passion and enthusiasm that typically marks it.

Unfortunately, however, that glow often fades over time. It may happen more quickly for some then others, but it happens. We settle into every day life, to our jobs, our routines. We settle into a church culture that, at least to a large extent, focuses more on how much we know about God than on how well we know Him, and that is built more around doing God-centered things than on actually experiencing relationship with Him. And it some ways, that’s only natural – those things are much easier to get our human minds around.

Being natural, however, does not make something correct. The idea that the “glow” is primarily only a new believer thing is a lie that I’m sure our enemy loves when we buy into. The truth is this: It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been following Christ, what state your life is in, what your bumps and bruises are, or how many of them there: the presence of Christ is every bit as transformational for you now as it’s ever been.

I’m becoming convinced that everything I really needed to know about following Christ I learned from a Steven Curtis Chapman song, and just missed the bigger picture on until recently, because every time I have one of these big realizations, it’s not too long before a lyric that I haven’t heard in months and even years starts running through my head. In this case, a few days ago, the words from a verse of a song called “Live Out Loud” found their way into my inner iPod:
“And if we have been filled with livinghope, we're gonna overflow And if God's love is burning in ourhearts, we're gonna glow There's just no way to keep it in “

I’ve probably heard/sung along with those words literally hundreds of times in my life, and until earlier this week, one of two things always happened. The first, which probably was what happened most, was to just like the catchy lyric and beat and not give it much thought. The rest of the time, I put some thought into it, recognized the truth of the lyric, and focused on what I should be doing to “overflow” and “glow”.

The fact of the matter is that I was focusing on treating the symptoms rather than on curing the disease, as it were. I’m guessing SCC wasn’t consciously focused on the logical constructs of his lyric (then again, how would I know?), but the reality is that these are causes and effects. If God’s love is burning in my heart, then I WILL glow. So, the solution to the absence of a glow is not trying to force a glow, but to press in to God, seek His face and His presence, and make sure that His love is, in fact, burning in my heart – allowing that glow to natural shine from within me. There’s nothing wrong with treating symptoms – in fact, sometimes without treating the symptoms, you’ll never have a chance to cure the disease. The problem is when treating the symptoms gets in the way of curing the disease, or even worse, when we start to believe treating the symptoms IS curing the disease.

I’ve become very aware lately of the extent to which I settle for a saving knowledge of Christ rather than a transformational relationship with Him. It’s not that the former is a bad thing, it’s just that the latter is so much better – so much more. That’s really how I look at much of the Christian life – as a choice between good, better, and best, as opposed to simple right and wrong - though trust me, there are plenty of those choices out there too.

I refuse to believe that the glow that Moses, Peter, John, and others experienced is reserved only for a chosen few. Finding that glow, I believe is a choice. It's not, however, a choice to put on a forced glow, one which, by the way, most everyone can see through. Instead, it’s a choice to make seeking and experiencing the presence of God in my life my first priority. Am I always successful? Probably not – but that’s not a reason not to seek after a God who makes it very clear that if we seek after Him, we will find Him. Seeking after the presence of God in my life is a daily choice – and one that can’t just be an act of simple discipline, but instead has to be driven by an inner understand and belief that this is what I need. It’s about saying to God “Here I am. What do you have for me today?”

I can think of nothing else I’d rather have said about me when I’m done on this earth than that I was just an ordinary person, but you could tell I had been with Jesus. So simple, so profound, so powerful. It is the cry of my heart to glow – to allow the presence of Christ to so fundamentally transform my life, that without even thinking about it, I radiate His glory to those around me.

I can't fix it...

I can't fix it... no matter how much I want to, no matter how obvious it is to me, no matter how much it breaks my heart or causes me to pound my head against the wall in frustration.

I can't fix it... no matter how much I try, no matter what limits of myself I press to, no matter what amount of energy I expend.

I can't fix it... no matter how much they want it fixed, no matter how much they turn to me, no matter what they expect from me.

I can't fix it... and when I try, when I let myself believe that I can, I always wind up here - disappointed, frustrated, defeated, and angry at me and them.

I can't fix it... and really, why would I think I could? I can't even fix me.

I can't fix it... but there is One who can.

I can't fix it... and even knowing that, I can't make them go to Him - I can only point tp Him.

I can't fix it... but I can walk along side them until they make the choice to take it to Him.

I can't fix it... but I can take their hand and stand with them as they make the journey.

I can't fix it... so I have to let go, to put MY trust in the very One who I am asking them to trust.

At long last...

Well, after almost exactly two weeks, I finally have a functional heating/cooling system again, as of yesterday afternoon. And just in time too, as this weekend looks like our first extended stretch of hot/humid weather.

They finally got the additional parts I needed and were out yesterday afternoon to fix the furnace blower. I have a service contract on my furnace, so I won't actually be charged anything additional, but they did fill out and give me a copy of the bill - $1300+. Let's just say I'm making out like a bandit on that service contract at this point. At current reates, I could keep the service contract in place for about another 9-10 years, not need any additional work done, and still be money ahead. In fact, the repairman said that they are thinking about changing their contracts to put a limit on the amount they'll cover in fixing a blower motor (mine is a little more complicated than a standard blower system apparently) specifically because they saw how much my parts were. Oh well, I'm not paying this time, and I would say that if the motor blows up again any time soon, it'll be time to replace the entire unit.