Facing opposition

My week did NOT get off to a good start last week, and trouble started on the evening of the first day of the week, that being Sunday. In the way of background, I have a friend who I serve as kind of a mentor for. I won't go into a ton of detail here, but suffice to say he has some special needs that present some unique challenges and require patience, which I sometimes run short on, though I've learned more than I ever had before as a result of our relationship. I love him dearly, but he be extremely frustrating at times, and Sunday night was one of those times. We had gotten together for what I thought was a really good conversation on Saturday, and what did he do as soon as he saw me at CrossWalk on Sunday night, but come over and do exactly what we had spent a good part of that conversation talking about not doing. Later in the service he did something else that we've been over again and again. He topped it off after the service by coming over and interrupting a conversation I was having to tell me that the Eagles had won, something I had told him (and everyone else) I didn't want to know, since I was DVRing the end of the game to watch when I got home. I totally lost my patience and blew up at him. And of course, me being me, I felt absolutely terrible about that later. So that was how I went into my work week.

And then there was Monday and Tuesday. Have you ever one of those times where for a stretch of a couple days, it just seems like every little stupid thing that can go wrong and frustrate you does? Nothing big and earth shattering, just a long string of small things. Well, that was basically my first two days of the work week. There was a personal issue here, a logistical issue there, etc, etc. And of course, when you become frustrated and distracted, you start compounding the problem by doing stupid stuff yourself, like getting halfway between your building and the parking garage and remembering you don't have any cash and that's all the parking garage takes. (Bear in mind, the only reason I was parked in the garage that day was because they had started working on the road I usually take to get the bus and the required detour meant I missed the bus) Anyhow, by the end of the work day on Tuesday, I found myself just feeling totally overwhelmed with frustration. I was staring blankly at my computer monitor, blinking back tears, and like I said, for no real major reason.

As I was reflecting on this on my walk halfway to the parking garage, and then back to my building and the ATM, and then onto the parking garage again, it struck me that the timing of this was somewhat suspect. Now, I believe there is an enemy who does attack, but I tend to not be one who is looking for the devil behind every stumble, struggle, or misstep. However, given what I was preparing for in the coming weekend and the convergence of everything, I really got the sense I was being hit with some opposition. Now, this realization was satisfying on one level, because I saw it as confirmation that God had something in mind for this weekend. It was, however, not very pleasant to live through. So, when I got home, I called Joe and asked for his prayers, and sent out an e-mail to the rest of the core team asking for the same. I also spent some time praying.

Later in the evening, I had transitioned from prayer to really just listening and waiting on God. Now, I've said before that I didn't used to think of myself as someone who heard from God very often. That attitude has since changed, but it would be factually correct to say that, to this point in my life, I haven't been someone who has seen visions from God. Well, I'm here to tell you that I saw a vision last Tuesday night. And it was totally out of left field relative to where my mind was at the time, so I'm sure it was God :-) I saw a hand appear and reach down into my chest. I suddenly became very, very aware of my heartbeat, and the words of Ezekial 36:26 came to my mind (well, I didn't know the reference at the time, but I knew the quote): "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

Whoa. I'm pretty sure I still haven't come to understand everything that happened in that time. However, at that moment, I felt a real release from everything that had been weighing me down over the last 48 hours or so. A few minutes later, there was a *ding* from my computer announcing the arrival of an e-mail from one of the other core team members in response to my prayer request, in which he had written an "e-prayer" (more on e-prayers in a future entry) that he had to have been praying right as I was in that moment with God. Pretty wild. Whatever lingering frustration or heaviness I may have had was later completely erased by what was easily the best and most refreshing night of sleep I had had in a long time.

It would be nice to say that I got up the next day and just floated through an incredible end of the week, but that wouldn't be true. The rest of the week was pretty much just a typical week. However, my anticipation for what God was up to was only growing as we got closer to the weekend .