More Grocery Store Trials

You know, I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent individual, most of the time. And then, there are times like today, when I'm just not sure I'm all that bright.

Let me elaborate. If you've been around since the beginning, you know that I have major grocery store issues. You would think that someone with these documented grocery store issues would be smart enough to avoid the grocery store on the afternoon before the biggest party night of the year. You would think that, and you would be wrong. To my credit (maybe), it did occur to me that today might not be the best day to go to the grocery store, but I get off of work at 3 and went right after work, and I told myself it wouldn't be bad until later in the day.

Perhaps at some point it would have been even worse, but good grief. It all started in the parking lot, which was of course jammed. The sheer volume would have been bad enough on it's own, but one of the corollaries to my theory on grocery stores is that people forget how to drive when they enter a crowded parking lot. Today would have been all the proof I ever needed for that one, and the slush left over from last night's snow didn't help matters. Regardless of all the craziness, I managed to tuck myself into a parking space back behind the store, a long way from the front door. I was hoping that would be the end of my struggles, but that was just wishful thinking on my part.

As I walked into the store, I noticed that they were out of the mini-carts, which are like my favorite grocery store related item ever. That, coupled with how mobbed the place was, led me to decide to just grab a basket and only get the stuff I absolutely needed within the next couple days. Apparently, when you are a basket shopper, you become virtually invisible to the people with the big carts, because I was nearly clipped several times, and came the closest I've ever come to actually being completely run over by a cart. I was walking along, in front of one of the aisles, which meant I couldn't move to my right. There was a woman coming the other direction who clearly wasn't paying attention, but she was lined up to pass to my left, so I wasn't that concerned. However, to my horror, the cart started to drift towards me without her noticing. My only move was to stop in an effort to delay the inevitable, which I did. Thankfully, the woman noticed she was about to kill me right before impact, and stopped, and which point she said to me "Oh, sorry. I wasn't paying attention." I was less than comforted by that apology, but thankful to know that she wasn't trying to run me down with her cart.

Then it was time to check out, which led me to a massive line at the self-scan stations. I really think you should have to go through training classes to be allowed to operate those things, because I invariably get stuck behind someone who had never been through them but was scared to them by the long lines at the regular registers. Not fun.

Anyhow, I survived, as you can plainly see, and I learned another valuable life lesson.