So I thought I would get my first post after the re-launch out of the way quickly. I'm sure you were all hoping for some deep and meaningful insight, or at least a take on a sports topic of the day, but instead, you're going to hear about one of my pet peeves. Okay, pet peeve probably isn't the right term, because I'm a part of the problem here. At least I assume I am. I've never actually observed it in myself, but I've never found an exception to this, and I'm not arrogant enough to assume that I am in fact the exception. At least I hope I'm not that arrogant.
The issue: Grocery stores. More to the point, whatever characteristic of grocery stores causes everyone who enters them to lose all sense of spatial awareness and any concept of the presence of other people around them. You know what I'm talking about. You've seen it yourself. You've been walking down the big wide open aisle that has only two other people in it,both of whom are stopped at precisely the same point in the aisle, carts side by side, both totally unaware of each other's presence, or the presence of anyone else who might want to get down the aisle. You've been coming out of an aisle only to nearly smash into someone walking along the front of the store who decided they needed to grab something from the display at the front of your aisle, and parked their cart lengthwise across the opening to the aisle. You've been nearly run over by the person wandering down the aisle, looking almost aimlessly back and forth between the left and right, and yet somehow never actually looking in front of them along the way. You've seen all of these people, and more. In fact, you've been all these people, and more! We all have, whether we were aware of it or not (and obviously we aren't, that's part of the grocery store curse, you see).
And so I have to ask, what is it about the grocery store? What is it that causes otherwise normal, fully functional people to immediately turn into mindless, lost, spatially unaware drones upon entry? I've been pondering this for far too long without an answer. If anyone from the government is reading this (and I'm sure I have to be on the FBI watch list by now anyhow), a study into this issue would be a much better waste of my money than a lot of the things you've got going at the moment. I'm not saying I would approve, but I would be slightly less miffed.
2 months ago
4 comments:
*laugh* Everyone is making me laugh today.
What about the "Micah's Mom Syndrome" where you come home from the grocery store carrying "fat free/diet [peanut butter, ranch dressing, soda, etc.]" without realizing it?
My hypothesis is that this happens when you look at one product and unconsciously grab another from the shelf behind you (all the while looking straight ahead).
The cause, however, is unknown to me.
But seriously . . .
Perhaps the issue you are dealing with in this post is triggered by the fact that "food" is so low on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and "sociality" (or whatever) is so much higher, that we can't function both levels at once.
There. There's my theory.
You just mentioned fat free ranch dressing, which even my Libertarian-leaning mind thinks is a crime against society should be outlawed.
I shall take your theory underadvisement, although the reality is that I've probably already put more thought into the grocery store curse than is healthy for one day.
Amanda has always said that people's IQs dropped at least ten points just by stepping into Wal-Mart.
My personal theory is that the presence of so many objects of desire brings all of our self-centered tendencies to the forefront and we all become so self-absorbed in our worship of our little gods that at that moment, we are, of course, the center of the universe and everyone else must revolve around us.
I feel as though 10 points might be a bit on the low side...
Your theory is pretty similar to the closest thing I have to an explanation for the phenomenon, though mine is a little less critical of human nature. I think it probably comes down to a case of sensory overload.
Not that I'm opposed to being critical of human nature.
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